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Elf (or How Blaine Helped Kurt Find His Christmas Spirit) (1+2/?)
caleb :: bitch i'm fab
sullyvann
Media: Fic
Title: Elf (or How Blaine Helped Kurt Find His Christmas Spirit) (1+2/?)
Author: sullyvann and rena_librarian
Rating: PG (May change in later chapters)
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine, Carole/Burt
Spoilers: None!
Warnings (if any): None.
Word Count: These two chapters are 674 and 1,254, respectively.
Summary: Blaine grew up in the North Pole with Santa and Papa Elf – and he was happy – until he realized he was a human, and he set out to find his birth father. Along the way, he meets Kurt Hummel, and nothing is ever the same again!
Author's Note: For the sake of this story, we’ve aged the boys to college age. Hope you enjoy!



________________________________________________________________________________________

This is the very true story of a very special boy – Blaine the Elf.

Blaine was born in the winter of 1992 to Maria Griffin and Kevin Anderson – although Kevin Anderson never knew he had a son.

The summer of 1991 was hot and muggy in Lima, Ohio, where Maria worked as the main day shift barista at the Lima Bean and Kevin spent much of his summer studying for the LSAT.

One thing lead to another, coffee became kisses and biscotti became roses, and when Kevin returned to Westerville for his senior year of college, Maria let him go without a fight or promises – or the knowledge that he had a baby on the way.

Maria knew that supporting herself and a newborn on a barista’s salary, no matter how many tips she made, wasn’t going to be possible. So when Blaine was born in the winter of 1992, Maria held him once and then sent him on his way to the orphanage, hoping he would have a better life than she could ever provide.

--

Baby Blaine was a beautiful, clever little boy that the nuns doted on. While the other babies slept on Christmas Eve of 1992, baby Blaine was awake, stimulated by the lights and sounds of the Christmas tree the nuns put in the sleeping room.

Even more intriguing to baby Blaine was the large man in red and white that shimmied down the chimney that evening with a big bag of toys – toys like a fluffy teddy bear that Blaine couldn’t resist.

Clever little Blaine unsnapped the side of his crib quietly and slipped into Santa’s bag, unnoticed among the baby dolls and other toys.

Once Santa was finally back at the North Pole that Christmas Eve, he and his elves celebrated briefly before beginning to work on toys for the next year – until they spotted clever little baby Blaine crawling out of Santa’s now-empty toy sack.

There was one lonely elf, an elf that had dedicated himself to Santa and his work of making children happy around the world. One elf that never settled down with another elf and never had any children – that elf was me, Papa Elf, and that evening, Blaine became my son.

--

The other elves were always very accepting of Blaine – no one ever mentioned his unusual heritage, but as Blaine grew, it became more and more obvious, especially to Blaine himself.

“So, Blaine, how many Etch-A-Sketches did you make today?” The head worker elf, Noo-Noo, asked gently.

“Uh,” Blaine said, looking sheepish, “Eighty-three.”

“Eighty-three,” Noo-Noo repeated, unrolling his toy list. “That puts you just... nine hundred and seventeen off pace.”

“I’m sorry, Noo-Noo! I’m just a cotton-headed ninny-muggins!” Blaine cried in agony, causing the other worker elves to gasp.

“No, Blaine, you’re not a cotton-headed ninny-muggins!” Noo-Noo said, placing a comforting hand on his shoulder. “Some elves just have different, special talents.”

“Like what?” Blaine asked, eyes watering.

“Uh…” Noo-Noo made wide eyes at the rest of the elves, hoping they had ideas.

“You’re the only one who can change the battery in the smoke detector!” One of the elves chimed in. “And in six months, you’ll have to change it again!”

“You’re the only baritone in the elf choir!” Another elf said. “You bring us down a whole octave!”

Blaine, still not feeling great, excused himself to the bathroom. As he made his way back, he overheard something terrible –

“Bon-Bon, I’m going to need you to help pick up Blaine’s slack,” Noo-Noo asked.

“Sure,” Bon-Bon replied.

“I’ve already had to ask Sue-Sue to work overtime, but we’ve got to meet our quota.”

“It’s okay, Noo-Noo, it’s not your fault that Blaine’s a human and his fingers aren’t as nimble as ours.”

That brings us to now. Blaine rushed home and locked himself in his room, and when he finally told me what was upsetting him, I had to come clean about his father, Kevin, and Westerville. And now Blaine is determined to leave the North Pole and find the father that he never knew.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Blaine's journey to Westerville would've been hellish--or impossible--for most humans. He had to make his way across snow-covered wastelands, that grew steadily less enchanted as he made his way along, in nothing but red tights and a blue tunic, but Blaine had spent his entire life in the snow. He barely noticed the cold. When he reached Canada and started seeing the occasional patch where the snow had melted, he thought it was fascinating.

He'd spoken with Santa before setting out. Santa had tried to prepare him, warning him not to eat gum off the street, advising him that humans often had little patience when preparing for Christmas, and telling him for pity's sake to watch out for cars because they moved without any reindeer pulling them.

"The world down South can be dangerous for someone who's never been away from the North Pole, Blaine," Santa had warned.

But the very worst thing of all was that Kevin Anderson was on the naughty list. Blaine had cried when Santa had told him, but Santa had been very encouraging. Blaine was full of Christmas spirit, and Santa seemed to think that he was just what his father would need.

Last thing before he left, Blaine had said goodbye to his Papa Elf. Papa was, of course, sad to see him going, but he seemed to understand that Blaine needed to do this--to know his real father and get answers to his questions.

Blaine had a rather nasty introduction to the land of civilization by way of a stray raccoon.

"My name's Blaine!" he'd said, cheerfully. The raccoon only hissed in reply. "Does someone need a hug?" Blaine offered.

When he held his arms open, the raccoon jumped him and clawed at him and bit. Fortunately the thick fur collar on Blaine's tunic kept the bites from breaking skin and he managed to get away physically unscathed, but his tender heart ached to realize that not all animals talked, and didn't know the difference between a hug and an attack.

The next day he found a highway, and using the map Santa had given him, he managed to make his way through Canada, through mitten-shaped Michigan, and at last into Ohio.

He hadn't slept in several days and was incredibly tired when he found himself wandering the streets of Lima, Ohio. He didn't need a lot of sleep, but he just couldn't get any when there was no one to tuck him in. He found himself wishing for a nice cup of coffee--even though he'd always been a cocoa drinker--and just as he was about ready to fall over from exhaustion, he saw a lit-up sign: World's Best Cup of Coffee!

Blaine burst through the doors of The Lima Bean without reading the sign.

"Congratulations!" he yelled. "You did it! World's best cup of coffee, that's quite an achievement!"

Two young men in blue blazers with red trim were standing nearby at the end of the line, and they, along with all the other patrons, stared at him quizzically.

"What are you supposed to be, an out-of-work elf?" one of them asked.

"Yes!" Blaine said happily--it was the friendliest greeting he'd received in days. "Well, I'm not really out of work. I'm taking kind of a vacation. I'm going to meet my dad. He works in Westerville!"

"Westerville?" the other boy said. "That's where we're headed. We go to school there, Dalton Academy, maybe you've heard of it? In that getup you could practically be our elf mascot..."

Blaine's outfit did practically coordinate with their blazers and ties. Blaine shook his head.

"No…but you're going to Westerville? How far is it? I've been walking for days and I just really want to know how much longer..."

"You've been walking?" The Asian boy shook his head and turned to his friend. "David, can I talk to you for a second?" The two boys stepped away, conferring for a moment. Blaine watched with a frown, unsure why they had turned away so abruptly, but they turned back towards him just as quickly. "We're headed back to Westerville just as soon as we get our coffee. Can we give you a ride?"

Blaine grinned widely. "A ride? Oh, that would be so nice, thank you so much!"

David smiled. "Are you going to get coffee while you're here?"

"I don't think I can possibly go without a cup of the world's best coffee!"

David and Wes politely hid their giggles. Sure, this guy might have been a little weird, but he seemed harmless enough. "What's your name?" Wes asked.

"Blaine, my name is Blaine."

"Nice to meet you, Blaine, I'm David, this is Wes."

When they got to the counter and it turned out that Blaine didn't have any proper money, Wes covered his bill. Blaine sipped at the medium drip coffee, and frowned for a moment, but then the two Dalton boys took him to the condiments counter where they doctored it up with cream, sugar, and cinnamon. When Blaine took a second sip, he broke out in another huge grin.

"This really is the best cup of coffee ever! Thank you!" He waved at the baristas, and Wes and David practically had to drag him out of the coffee shop.

They all loaded into David's SUV.

"Aren't you cold, man?" Wes asked, tugging a blanket from under the seat and tucking it around Blaine's legs. Having been tucked in, Blaine put his coffee in the cup holder and promptly passed out when the car started moving. He was awake again well before his coffee got cold, and happily sang along with the Christmas music on the radio for the rest of the drive. David told him that he and Wes were in a singing group called the Warblers, and they joined in with Blaine's singing, saying they could never practice too much.

When they got to Westerville, David asked where to drop Blaine off.

"Um...Anderson, Smythe, Patterson, and Tubbs," Blaine read off his map.

"What?" David asked.

"I think that's that law firm, you know, next to that Italian place..." Wes reminded him.

"Oh yeah."

David pulled in front of the imposing-looking building in the heart of Westerville's business district. "Are you sure about this, Blaine? Does your dad know you're coming?"

Blaine shrugged. "No, but I'm sure he'll be excited to meet me!"

Wes frowned, pulled a notebook out of his pocket, and wrote two strings of numbers on it. "Blaine, buddy, if you have any problems, you can call us, okay?" He gave the paper to Blaine. "We'll be in school, but we'll do our best to help if you need us, okay?"

Blaine had no idea what the numbers meant, but he wanted to be polite, so he took the paper and tucked it into his pocket. "All right, thank you so much for the ride!"

David shrugged. "Hey, man, thank you for getting us into the Christmas spirit!" He laughed, and shimmied his shoulders in time to the music still pouring from the radio.

Blaine laughed. "You're welcome! Santa said it's one of my special talents!"

David and Wes exchanged a look, but Blaine barely noticed as he got out of the car and closed the door behind him. After a moment, the SUV pulled away.

Blaine turned to face the three-story building, then marched forward into the lobby.

"May I help you?" a stony blonde receptionist asked.

"Oh, yes, ma'am. I'm here to meet Kevin Anderson!"

Next.
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  • 1
\o/
omg a Glee/Elf crossover. I am so excited!!!!!
I love them both so much.

This is such a good start. I can't wait to read more. Thank you!!!

Adorable. I haven't seen the movie, but Blaine is absolutely adorable. XD

There is one continuity error though. You say that Blaine was born in the winter of '92, and then in the next scene, it starts out with While the other babies slept on Christmas Eve of 1987, baby Blaine was awake,

Fuck! You're right! We decided to change his age! I'll fix it.

THANKS.

Not a problem! Hey, I make the same mistakes, trust me. XD Looking forward to the next chapter!

Oh my, we've been playing this movie at the office! This is an AWESOME idea for a x-over/ character replacement fic! Blaine is perfect as Buddy! I can't wait to read more!

yay!! glad you're enjoying!

How intriguing! I've had Elf sitting on my planner for a few days now; guess I'll give it a watch :)

DO IT. Elf is the greatest Christmas movie of all time, and I am begin TOTALLY serious.

also, thanks for commenting!!

Oh God, this is probably going to break my heart into a million pieces and make me want to snuggle with kittens simultaneously. I can't wait for more!

haha, i hope that's a good thing? thanks for reading/commenting!

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